The Ranting Starts Here

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 23:13:37 GMT

And 2008 out goes out with a bang. A nice big one with a bullet to go right between my eyes. Could this fucking year suck anymore?

This is going to sound really really bad, but Grandpa went and picked just the right time to pass away. For once I was ready to pay off my insurance bill. Early even! All I had to do was wait for one more paycheck. Then he dies, mom goes into a tailspin, dad sends me out with my own money to help out with home necessities and groceries for the week and a half my aunt and cousin were up here. Do I get paid back? No. And I had Christmas things to get still. And something to wear for the funeral. And medicene cause I got really sick. And gas for my car.

So how much do I have now, after two weeks of no work? I have one paycheck for 34 dollars. And now the brakes are going on my car. And mom got a letter today from the insurance that they lapsed my policy. Which is just bullshit. I know I talked to someone there on the ninth and explained that I was broke and was going to pay after Christmas. Of course, I assumed that the 220 dollars was going to be returned to me. But mom and dad passed that off on each other, and spent the rest of the month bitching that they're broke and have no money. Gee, sure, let me hit you up for money when you claim you have none.

So now mom has thrown a fit at me about the policy lapsing. And she's been screaming at me since I got home this morning that now I can't drive any car at all, and I'd better work out transportation to work on my own because its not her problem. I didn't even get a word in freaking edgewise. I've told her twice this month that I was broke. BROKE. Scraping pennies for gas broke. If I can't drive to work, my only other option is to walk. Four miles to work at three in the morning, in subzero temperatures with windchills. I have no money for a fucking cab. Drivers on Call doesn't run before 6am, and they're not reliable for being on time. Plus, hi, no money. I have about 75 cents to my name atm, and have no transportation to get to the bank. So I thank her for dumping this all on me in the middle of winter at the last second when I can't call anyone and I'm supposed to be in for work tomorrow at 4am.

What really pisses me off is that she started screaming at me about all the money I owe her. Yeah, I know I owe them money. But if I don't have transportation to go to work, how will I get money to give her? I have no problem giving her my paycheck as long as I have gas money and money for my medication. But she's screwing us both if she keeps up this ridiculous tantrum fit where I can't drive and she wont drop me off at work. What I figured is that if they just give me the 220 they owe me, I add in my 34 dollars, my check on Friday should cover the insurance. Since the grace period isn't supposed to lapse until Jan. 13th (and I'm going to find out who I talked to and bitch them out for not writing down that I was going to be late with the payment like I fucking told them) I can pay the damn thing off. Of course the way I'm feeling now I'd like to pay if off and cram the damn receipt down her throat.

It's either going to be that, or fuck her. I'm keeping my car keys and taking my damn car Friday whether she likes it or not. Since its in my name now, its not like she can report it stolen on me.

I swear if I had any damn money right now I'd move. Take the car with the shitty brakes and a bag of clothes and just leave. Might call Mother Sharon this weekend and see if she wants a roomie for a little while.

Happy New Year to everyone. I hope everyone's having fun and that 2009 is a damn sight better than this year.

Back

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 16:11:53 GMT

Life just doesn't pull any damn punches, does it?

So we had the funeral last Friday. Quick affair, some readings in the church followed by me stumbling past my cousins in a rush because I forgot I'd agreed to be one of the gift bearers. (for any of you that aren't Catholic, its a completely meaningless gesture in which two people take a plate of crackers and a small container of wine and present it to the priest. Takes about five seconds if you remember to bow.)Since my cousin Amber couldn't make the trip up this time, I sat in a pew with all my male cousins who were eerily quiet and near completely unemotional for the service. This only made me want to kick their asses more, since at the preceeding wake not one of them chose to stand up and say anything about Grandpa, leaving all of that to me. And I love how everyone's reaction was "Oh, some people are just uncomfortable getting up and saying anything". Uh huh. Like I wasn't. I basically begged everyone to just say something, anything. I got two other people out of sixty. Go me.

Ire at my cousin's aside, it was just the kind of funeral Grandpa would have wanted. Church was pretty full for a freakin' cold winter's day. Dad said something snide later about the lure of free food, since we catered a meal at the nearby Catholic school after the funeral was done. Lots more people there, but people all telling stories about Grandpa and laughing and crying and I felt that was more important. The man was a pain in the ass most of the time, but I still loved him, and he could make you laugh when he wasn't being a total butt.

Another random note. Open caskets are bad. Bad. I don't care what others say about closure blah blah blah. Its absolutely barbaric to force people to stare at a corpse and talk to it. You'd think my family would have gotten the message from me at my other grandma's funeral, where we had to do a procession past the body. I don't remember much because I supposedly broke down on the floor and my cousin had to carry me out. At Carol's funeral, I point blank refused to walk up to the coffin or even look up unless it was to look at the priest. At Grandma's this year, I slipped behind my brother and stared at the flowers. This time around I gave my cousin a dirty look for even suggesting I go see 'how good Grandpa looks'. Yeah, well he looked better alive, in my opinion. All of this wouldn't bother me as much if Grandpa's immediate family would have shown a little more emotion than just sitting there staring off into space. Mom and Aunt Cheryl cried for him, and my brother. My mom's cousin wept. My cousins just sat around all quiet because its inappropriate to make plans to go ice fishing during a wake. Which I'm surprised stopped them. Later they gave me some crap about how its in honor of fishing with Grandpa, but its the same shit they did at Grandma's funeral so I didn't buy it. With the exception of Danny, not one of them ever came down to see Grandpa on their own, or called him, nothing. Nothing at all since Grandma died. He never even got to meet his newest great grandson because Chad was too busy using his days off to run around on fishing trips. Pat promised to call him every week but the same shit. His days off are for fishing and himself and no one else. It bothers me most because I spent time with Grandpa and had to tell him reasons why the rest of his grandchildren never called or visited. Lots of lying, misdirection and placating involved. Just the same as with Grandma. Now we have no grandparents. They're both gone. For me and my brother, we've lost all of our grandparents. Our cousins have at least one other grandparent left, though I doubt the thought will affect them in any way. Its watching someone else squander what they have so callously...my grandparents were special people. Even moreso when you took the time to get to know them. There were a lot of things we were able to do and talk about with each other these last few years, things I might not have appreciated about them in my youth that I was able to as an adult. They were proud, and stubborn, and vain sometimes, and always ready to tell a story or make a comment about something. They argued all the time but they couldn't be without each other. I guess I can be glad that I got to know all these things about them.

Anyways, moving on. My aunt and cousin flew back to Cali the other day, so we've resumed our usual habits of wandering through rooms only when necessary and hibernating in our own rooms. Mom went back to work, I'm going back later today. I have a feeling Christmas is going to be very quiet and withdrawn this year. It seems like mom and I are riding this numbness wave. This is going to be the first Christmas we haven't had Grandma and Grandpa with us. I keep catching myself going through the messages on the phone looking to see if Grandpa hasn't called. It seems pretty lonely now...I dunno. No one's ready for Christmas. I plan to immerse myself in wrapping and cleaning and RP and watching marathons of whatever DVDs I have lying around. But now I have to send my own bitter ass up to shower and dig out my work clothes so I can fake smile through the rest of today.

Not that I didn't appreciate all the condolences everyone gave me. I do, so much. It really did help when I was ready to read them. Thanks to everyone for that. Sorry all of this was one long bitchy rant, but its been building up all week.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:00:40 GMT

My grandfather passed away this morning.

To everyone I'm in contact with (or have fallen out of contact with), I probably won't be around much for the next couple weeks or so.

And if you see me online, for the love of god distract me, because that's what I need right now.

Thanks
-Dare

Fic post

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:12:51 GMT

An Ouran fic for Trace-love.

Title: Motivations
Rating: PG-13 for naughty thoughts
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Pairing(s): Kyouya/Tamaki+Kaoru, Hikaru+Haruhi
Summary: Kaoru has ulterior motives for his actions...

My twin can sometimes be an idiot.

Most of the time I don't mind that. It's cute the way some things manage to sail right over his head. Like right now, when he's spending time alone with Haruhi. Only Hikaru would be oblivious to whats a study date, and whats a date date. And when Haruhi's offering to let him stay for dinner and watch a video with her afterwards, its not just a study date anymore.

Then again, its Haruhi. She's not the brightest bulb when it comes to that sort of thing either.

And then again, Hikaru's not the only one that can be oblivious to his or another's feelings.

Still, I'm rooting for them. I didn't do all this planning and subtle hint dropping at Hikaru to see him not get the girl. He really needs it, she really deserves Hikaru...and with the two of them out of the way, I can finally get to doing something about what I want.

Haruhi just needs to be out of the picture, that's all.

I never have felt guilty about popping anyone's little bubble of illusion, after all.

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~

Tamaki isn't what you expect, ever.

As predictable as he is when he's in his moods, he can still surprise you. Hunny-sempai is the one you'd think would taste like honey and sunshine. Not that I personally fantasize about what it'd be like kissing Hunny-sempai, but you get the idea. Kissing Tamaki though...it was more addicting that I assumed. I'm pretty sure I melted against him, in his lap, trying to taste more.

He might have even let me, but I'll never know now because Mori-sempai came back to the music room for Hunny-sempai's stupid Bun-Bun.

Maybe he'll forget that I threw myself into his lap, faking a joke as soon as everyone else left, and shoved my tongue down his throat. He is good at the self-denial thing. Probably as good as he is at kissing. I wonder if its some freak genentic blessing from his French blood.

He can sure run when he wants to, though. At least I got a good look at his ass in motion when he did. Even if I got dumped out of his lap and landed on my own ass.

And he blushes. It makes me wonder if the blood stays in his face, or spreads all over his body...

Oh, stay focused, Kaoru. Sheesh, wait until Hikaru's asleep before you start imagining a naked Milord...

~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~

I should have known Tamaki would have run to Kyouya. That or Mori saw more than he let on.

Let's just say that no matter how much we tease our Shadow Lord, we don't actually want him pissed at us. 'Cause Kyouya? Can be downright terrifying with just a look. And that's even if you didn't know what he could have done to you. I might love horror movies, but I sure as hell don't long to be the hero that has to face down the monsters. I just dig the adrenaline rush.

Kissing Kyouya is like watching a horror movie. He lulls you first, even though you know the scary stuff is coming. You can sort of predict when it does, but even then he shocks you anyways. Where did he learn to use his tongue like that?

Kyouya tastes like almonds. It reminds me of what people say cyanide tastes like, bitter almonds. Kyouya isn't bitter, but the reference stuck with me even after he left. He tastes like poison. Intoxicating too...like tainted wine. He didn't stop until my knees buckled and I had to grab onto him. It was thrilling and a little scary, and I was still shaking a bit when he stopped.

I totally blame my new fascination with his mouth for missing most of what he said before he stalked away. Something about this placating Tamaki until he could figure out what to do with me.

I don't like that sound of that much.

I can't wait to see what he does.

Naked, blushing dream!Tamaki is being joined by naked, smirking dream!Kyouya tonight. Hikaru's going to bitch that I used up the hot water again, but he'll just have to deal with taking his shower in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so how exactly was I supposed to know that our two lords were doing each other? I mean, its not just me that assumed that Tamaki was in love with Haruhi. And Kyouya's never shown any interest for anyone, boy or girl, unless he's getting something out of them.

I get the feeling that the universe just played a big joke on me, and is currently laughing its ass off at how it played out.

Okay, maybe I know how Tamaki feels now, when Hikaru and I go after him. A little bit.

I probably should be worried right now. Especially that Kyouya is going to make me pay out the ass for making a pass at his lover. It's just kind of hard to be worried about that in particular when I'm trapped and tied down on the club's loveseat.

No, really, I'm not worried about payback. Because I'm getting it.

Did I forget to mention that I'm naked, the doors are locked because its after hours, and Kyouya and Tamaki are still discussing what they're going to do to me? Yeah, right in front of me.

I'm harder than I've ever been in my entire life. This is way better than my wet dreams, and its damn well worth the punishment I know I'll be getting later.

Or sooner, if that smirk on Kyouya's face is any indication.

I hope Hikaru doesn't get too worried when I have to sneak back into the house later. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll fall asleep, and dream of Haruhi.

I knew I was right in getting them together. I'm a master of ulterior motives. It's hard not to be when you've got such sexy guys as your motivation. And I? Can be a very motivated little shit indeed.

Birthday Ficcage~

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:53:20 GMT

Happy Birthday, Shu darling <3

You know I so love you when I can pull a Tezuka out of my ass lol

Title: Lazy Sundays Arc: Perceptions
Fandom: Prince Of Tennis
Pairing: AtoTezuTari
Rating: PG for slight language
Summary: Atobe's found the perfect house...or has he?
Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. Never will be.

PERCEPTION

"Here it is! What did I tell you? Perfect."

Atobe smiled knowingly at Tezuka from the backseat, and exited the car without waiting for them. Tezuka glanced at Oshitari, who sat behind the driver's seat.

Of all three of them, Yuushi had decided he preferred driving. After years of being chauffeured, Atobe hadn't had the patience required to learn how to operate a car, and Tezuka tended to favor public transportation if he had to go somewhere he couldn't walk to. Yuushi turned out to be more than competent at driving, and looking good while he did it, so they never had any complaints when he decided to drive them somewhere.

"Did you know about this," Tezuka asked him suspiciously, his gaze sliding past Oshitari to watch Atobe already unlocking the door to the large house they'd pulled up to.

"It's as much a surprise to me as it is to you. Do you suppose this is his revenge for having that sale?"

In a fluke agreement just three weeks prior, Tezuka and Oshitari had decided to trim down some of their belongings. While Yuushi had donated some of his books to a couple charities, Tezuka had a more practical idea in mind, and had set up a couple of tables outside of their small home. Though he led a far more spartan life than his two lovers, he'd had things of his own accumulating dust for awhile. And selling them, he reasoned, would give them a profit they could use elsewhere.

By the time Atobe had returned home, they'd raided his belongings, tossing in whatever they hadn't seen him so much as sniff at since they'd moved in. The blonde had rampaged along the tables, snatching his things out of people's hands and demanding to know what the hell was going on.

They'd both been kicked out of the bedroom for three nights while Atobe seethed. Tezuka had patiently explained--through the bedroom door--that given the limited space they had, everyone had to sacrifice some things. After another day, Atobe had seemed to listen to his logic and allowed them back in, and appeared to forget the entire matter.

Or so they'd thought. Without answering, Tezuka got out of the car and followed Atobe in, Oshitari trailing behind with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Actually, it surprised Tezuka that Oshitari wasn't in on this. Since this move of Atobe's was something he'd instinctively object to--the house in question was large, yes, but impractical for the same reason--his lover usually tended to draw Oshitari into his schemes so that Tezuka was outmatched. He had to admit, having Yuushi look not all that enthusiastic or impressed rather than slinging an arm around his shoulders and teasing about all the rooms to christen was...strange.

He didn't have too much time to think more on that though, because Atobe was impatiently tapping his socked foot in the front room, waiting for them. "We won't ever have to argue about space", he declared. "I searched all over Tokyo, and this is exactly what we need. This house has five rooms, enough for all of us to have our own for our things, plus a guest bedroom."

Before Tezuka could say anything, Oshitari commented blandly. "It's a little out of our way, isn't it Keigo?"

Because of course Atobe's search hadn't exactly encompassed all of Tokyo...just the areas he found preferable. This wasn't anything Tezuka hadn't expected, but Oshitari had a point. Their jobs, though different, were farther from this house than from their current one.

Atobe looked a little nonplussed--it was more Tezuka's nature to shoot holes through his ideas than Oshitari's--but he had a ready answer. "It's a little more of a commute, but you like to drive. And Kunimitsu can ride with you, since his job is on the way to yours. I can have the company car pick me up here, after all."

"True." Tezuka had to agree that it was well thought out, at least. Since Atobe couldn't be reasoned with about price, he didn't bother to ask how much the house was. And Atobe looked not only smug but happy at his find, that Tezuka couldn't find any reason not to at least look at the place first.

But as they went on with the tour, Yuushi seemed to have a comment about everything. Harmless comments, not unlike what Tezuka would say himself. When Atobe showed them the sizable backyard and claimed Tezuka could finally have the garden he wanted, Yuushi only glanced at it, shrugged and walked back inside, adding that they'd need to hire a gardener just to keep the grass and trees tended. When Atobe proudly declared that the kitchen had all the accouterments for a gourmet chef, Yuushi tacked on that none of them would probably know how to use half of it.

It went on like that in every room. Atobe, most likely fully expecting Yuushi's support in this, even his help in convincing Tezuka, was starting to show signs of his growing irritation. Tezuka, who had been starting to privately weigh in the pros and cons for himself, found himself watching them with growing apprehension. Yuushi seemed disinterested, even unemotional. That was worrying too. Though Tezuka couldn't begin to describe his dark haired lover's inscrutable personality, unemotional disinterest was about the last thing he'd put on the list. Tezuka began to wonder if Oshitari wasn't upset about this, and why Atobe wasn't picking up on it too.

He felt like an observer, watching the ax waver and start to fall. And fall it did, once they were in the master bedroom.

"This is not cheap laminate flooring! Anyone can tell that its maple! Maple!" Atobe threw his hands into the air, and looked for a moment as if he'd like nothing better than to tear out his own perfectly styled hair.

"All I said was that it could be laminate. They do make really realistic looking flooring nowadays." Yuushi didn't seem to be concerned about Atobe's temper, and dully looked anywhere but the blonde.

Flushing, Atobe sucked in a quick breath and launched into him. "You know, I expect this brand of pessimism out of Kunimitsu, not you. I can't believe you're not backing me up in this, Yuushi!"

To which he only got a half shrug in return. "Kunimitsu wasn't saying anything. I thought you liked it when you had a devil's advocate to argue with."

"Well, I don't. You're supposed to be on my side, Yuushi! I made an offer on this place for us, all three of us."

Tezuka saw something flash in Oshitari's eyes, before the other looked away. "Do whatever you want, Keigo", he said, and turned. "I don't really care either way." He walked out, leaving Atobe and Tezuka alone.

"...Keigo", Tezuka said, after a lengthy silence between them. It suddenly occurred to him what the problem was. "There are no sides here, you realize."

"What do you mean?"

Repressing the urge to roll his eyes at his lover, Tezuka gave him a sharp look instead. "Do you ever take sides when Yuushi and I argue?" Atobe shook his head. "The two of you argue about ridiculous things. Like space and how long a bath should be, and what's more entertaining to read."

Now Tezuka did roll his eyes. How like Atobe to simplify everything like that. "Did it ever occur to you to ask Yuushi's opinion first, before going all out with this idea to move? It's obvious that he isn't in love with this place like you are. And you ordering him to take your side like you're still his Captain isn't going to make him want to."

Atobe's eyes narrowed, and Tezuka mentally prepared himself for the backlash. But it never came.

"Of course...you're right Kunimitsu." The answer came out on a sigh as Atobe raked his fingers through his hair. "I should have known Yuushi would get sentimental over our home. He keeps every damned first thing he ever had, why would a house be any different?"

Tezuka nodded, though that hadn't been his conclusion at all. Then again, when Atobe could get past his own ego to use that vaunted perception of his, he often saw things Tezuka couldn't. He hadn't thought about Oshitari's romantic nature. He figured that Oshitari had been teaching Atobe a lesson in assumptions and respect, and opened his mouth to say as much, but Atobe cut him off.

"I know, I know. And I acted like an ass and didn't consider his feelings." The frown on Atobe's face lifted just a bit, and he gave Tezuka a slightly sheepish smile. "Can you really blame me? I'm used to us having to convince you.

Tezuka gave him a small, warm smile of his own. They might be two of the most egotistical and irritating people Tezuka had ever met in his life, but they both had good hearts, and they were his. "Go fix things, Keigo", he advised. "Before he decides to drive home by himself and leave us here."

Brushing a kiss to Tezuka's lips on his way out the door, Atobe left him alone in the room in search of Oshitari. In the silence of the room, Tezuka turned slowly around in a circle, studying it all. If Atobe had thought to ask, he would have told him that it was indeed a very nice house. Maybe too big for what they needed right now. But seeing the simple, tasteful decor and the warm, inviting feel of the room, he could begin to see them sharing it. Sharing the whole house. In the future, maybe, when they were more settled and ready to relax.

But they were young yet. Young and still, apparently, learning about one another. They had everything they needed.

For now.

Tezuka shut the door with a soft click on the way out.

The drabble that preceeded it: Lazy Sunday Arc: Compromise

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 05:11:08 GMT

A heads up for anyone I chat/RP with. Mom reinstated her vacation for the end of this month. Meaning she's not going back to work until next Friday.

Meaning my time online? Spotty, possibly non-existant for most of the week and inconsistent. Still checking email when I can, so if it's urgent, I suggest that first.

Thanks, and see you all when I see you.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:31:10 GMT

Might be spotty online today, if at all. Dad took the day off. >.< Ass. Thinks I'm gonna be working outside with him today when its going to be 100 percent humidity and 99 degrees heat index.

Angel-babe, will try to call if it doesn't wake up Mom, so long as you're not busy at work. I left you tags from last night.

Trace, will get to yours whenever dip-head lets me get on, if he does at all. He's being all "you're not gonna be on all day blah blah blah" at me.

Back by Wed., if nothing else.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:17:45 GMT

Did I say before it felt like we were past due for another family outburst of bullshit?

Yep. Apparently we were way overdue. Dad threw a psychotic rage 53 year old baby bullshit tantrum fit when he came home.

Over dog hair.

Yes, this is actually normal for us. Well, but for him running all over the house screaming about it.

So, I may be banned from the computer for the rest of the week since he took it off for vacation. So...if I'm not around much, that will be why my dears.

Never a dull fuckin' moment around here, no siree.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 00:04:09 GMT

Just some updating.

[family stuffs]

Okay. You can really tell when there's no emergency...I don't update forever. My grandmother was gradually getting better. They put a wound vac into her abdomen to help her heal and suck out the bad fluids. But just last week she got sent up to a hospital/convalescence place up in Fargo. They took the vac out, and were going to graft skin from her legs on the incision from it, but I'm not sure what happened. I think the dumb fucks tried to speed up her recovery way too soon. So as far as I know she got a couple of grafts, but then they had to open her back up. It's getting ridiculous, but we're keeping track of them now.

Aunt is coming back up at the end of August. Hope nothing else is going to happen there. She's got three in-laws that are riddled with cancer and fading fast.

Nothing much else is going on, really. It's gotten quiet and typical again. Sounds about the right time for another family fight soon.

[other problems]

To all the men out there of the 'disgusting pigs that deserve castration' variety. I'm pretty fucking sick of these bullshit games. Did someone scribble 'dumb slut' on my forehead when I wasn't looking? And yeah, I've heard it before. You think it's original just because I didn't pick up on it right away? Yeaha, I've heard the sob stories about the wife that hates sex, the girlfriend that's okay with you fucking around. And I nod and act understanding, sure. And I wondered why in the fuck you were so damn persistant in calling me that morning just to tell me never to talk about sex around your wife, that it makes her uncomfortable. Since I joke about that stuff all the time around her, yeah, it made me wonder what the fuck was up there, especially when that's all you talked about last time we all went out together, all those women that 'wanted' you. Bunch of crap. You were setting me up. Five minutes alone in the car with me and you're coming onto me. And pretty fucking crudely too. I don't want to hear shit like that, when your wife is my friend. I may come off as loose and flirty, but when the fuck did I make it seem like I was offering? You wanna suck my pussy? I'd rather suck your wife's first, that's about how much I'm even attracted to you in the first place, dumbass. So now that I know your fucked up little game, you'd better be smart and let it drop since I told your ass no. NO. NO NO NO AND NO AGAIN. Fuck, call me old fashioned but I'm not into married men, or men old enough to be my damned father. Yeah, tell me you told her you wanted to fuck me and she doesn't care. That explains why I never heard a peep about it from her, right? My bullshit meter isn't broken, asshole. It reads you and your story loud and clear.

So go find a nice jagged hole to jam your 'pole' into if jacking off ain't doing it for you. You're not fucking me, or fucking up my friendship with your wife. And if you bring it up again, you're going to find out just how unforgiving I am of cheating, lying, manipulative sons of bitches like you.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:24:40 GMT

Last night Grandma's temperature went up again, and her kidneys started to fail. The priest from the Catholic Church came to give her last rites. My aunt ended up staying with her while my parents crashed home for some sleep.

I'm still taking medication, and its helping some of the icky symptoms of my cold. But last night even the Nyquil/Actifed combination I took couldn't make me fall asleep. I kept hearing ringing phones in what little sleep I got.

Right now, everyone seems to have left incredibly early this morning to be at the hospital. They left me and bro here to wait for the septic pumpers to call, and for my uncle and cousin to call with thier flight number so I can pick them up tomorrow. Once again, I'm left to do nothing but wait. They even took the cordless phone, god knows where, so I won't be leaving any room that's got a phone in it. Good thing the bathroom is right next to the kitchen.

I know I told people I'd be staying offline, but waiting is incredibly hard and I can't seem to seperate from the telephone. So unless I want to doze off in front of the TV like I was doing yesterday between cleaning and waiting, I'm going to find things to do on here. But no IM. I don't think I'm up for it.

This is probably nothing but my tired brain throwing up stupid things...but my Grandmother was born the 28th day of October. In 1928. I'll be turning 28 on Thursday, and Saturday they told us if she survived the surgery she'd only last 3-4 days. Her surgery wrapped up at 1am Sunday morning. Which makes Thursday the last day according to them. I'm having bad bad feelings right now. I'm hoping that this is just me being an emotional wreck right now because the thought is just too creepy.

I need something to do.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 16:30:25 GMT

Damn phone...

Okay, update.

At 1am, the surgical team operating on my grandmother found a pinhole leak in her intestines that was the reason for all the fluid buildup. She managed to pull through the surgery, but they have her up in ICU on a ventilator. It's pretty much hour to hour now. But the docs bumped her chances up considerably, which is damn good. Still, she could pull through, she could not.

---

Update again. Mom just called. She's still holding on, but the doctor is a little ray of sunshine and telling her it'll be any day now. My aunt hopped a flight from CA last night so Dad's picking her up and driving her straight there to the hospital. Which my brother and I can't do because we're sick and not allowed up in the ICU wing.

So...it's still wait and see. I get to call work now and see if there's anyone that can cover my shifts for a few days. Hell. And its last minute too.

Thanks to everyone that commented last night and this morning. It means a lot to bro and me. We're just going to try and keep busy today and not expire from Dayquil overdosing.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sun, 03 Jun 2007 03:48:44 GMT

For anyone who watches my journal, or my brother's at ridley_geek, we're just letting everyone know what's going on right now.

Our grandmother is back in surgery. Her incision from the hernia operations became infected, and she has an immense fluid buildup. The doctors have flat out told Mom that she's not going to make it. If she does manage to hang on after the surgery, it'll only be 3-4 days, and she'll be on a ventilator.

Right now all of the surrounding family is at the hospital. We're just waiting for the call here, whenever they hear anything from the surgical team. They should have called half an hour ago...I can only hope that it doesn't mean something bad.

For my friends, I'm holding up okay right now. I can't do anything but make sure everyone else is all right, right now. For my rp friends and co-players, I'm going to have to call an indefinite hiatus from all game and online activity. While I'm waiting here I'll try to get some things done, but don't expect to see me any sooner than Tuesday, if at all this week.

moonsliver knows how to reach me, if anyone would like to call.

Crossing my fingers. She's pulled through before against the odds. That's all we can hope for now.

more meme fun

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 28 May 2007 05:13:25 GMT

Stolen verbatim from kracken:

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Movie:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they :
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school:
22. Describe your accent -
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you? (assuming I am not asleep in a corner somewhere)

Meme-ge

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sat, 26 May 2007 14:03:52 GMT

I steeeee~al from torasetsuna

Rules:
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions
3. Then tag three people.

Notes:
Since I stole from Tora, I picked my Shishido muse. Then, going by most played I chose Atobe, Dabide, Akutsu and Sengoku. I'll tag whoever wants to do it.

1) How old are you?
Shishido: *relaxed* 25.
Atobe: I'm always in my prime, whatever my age.
Dabide: *snicker*
Sengoku: Hey, aren't you like, over 2,000 years old in one game?
Atobe: What of it? I'm a vampire there and vampires are eternally young.
Akutsu: *whaps Sengoku in the back of the head irritably* Hurry up and answer the fuckin' question.
Sengoku: *rubs head* Ow...okay. I'm fifteen and around seventeen respectively.
Dabide: I'm the age I'm supposed to be.
Shishido: *rolls eyes at all of them*

2) Height?
Shishido: ...
Atobe: ...
Dabide: ...Tall?
Sengoku: Hey, do any of us know?
Shishido: Hell if I do. I only know I'm a little shorter than Niou.
Akutsu: Then who gives a shit? *digging around his pockets for his cigs*

3)You Got Any Bad Habits??
Shishido: *looks away, muttering* Smoking Niou's cigarettes...
Sengoku: *grins* And fucking like bunnies, Shishi-chan?
Shishido: *growls* Bite me, asshole.
Dabide: *blinks* How can an asshole bite without teeth? *snickers*
Atobe: *arches eyebrow at Sengoku* I seem to recall certain habits of yours...Like sticking your nose in other people's business?
Sengoku: *innocent look* Who...me?
All: Yes!

4)You a virgin?
All: *looking at each other* Next question!

5)Who's your Mate/Spouse?
Shishido: *blushes and fiddles with his ring* ...Niou.
Sengoku: *waving his hand* Oh oh! Tachibana and Kamio for me! ^_^
Dabide: *little happy smile* Bane and Atsushi. <33333
Atobe: *shrugs* Tezuka, of course. As well as Gakuto. Oshitari at times.
Akutsu: ...
All: *look around at Akutsu*
Akutsu: ...This is such bullshit. I'm making a smoke run. *leaves*

6)Have Any Kids?
Sengoku: Do I! ^_^
Shishido: *snarls* You don't have any fucking kids!
Sengoku: Sure I do! My future kids!
Atobe: *eyerolls* He's delusional...Dabide and I are the only muses that actually have children.
Dabide: We do?
Shishido: Dumbass...

7)Favourite Food?
Atobe: Only at the best French restaurants.
Shishido: *gags* That shit's so gross. Give me a greek pizza anytime.
Sengoku: I'll eat anything! ^_^
Dabide: Even Tachibana-chan's tennis balls?
Sengoku: If she asked me to. ^_^

8)Favourite Ice Cream flavor?
Sengoku: Anything for me!
Dabide: Anything anyone else is eating. As long as it has peanut butter cups in it.
Atobe: If I must eat ice cream, I prefer a scoop of vanilla with a scoop of strawberry sorbet.
Shishido: If he'd pick out all the damn marshmallows, I'd eat some of Niou's rocky road...

9) Killed anyone?
All: *glancing at Shishido*
Shishido: *scowls* Oh fuck you. I was in the military!
Sengoku: *whispering to Atobe* At least he doesn't have the gun on him today...
Atobe: *nods*

10) Hate anyone?
Dabide: Nobody...
Sengoku: Ditto! ^_^
Shishido: Plenty of people. *snorts*
Atobe: *studying his nails* We noticed.
Shishido: Kiss my ass, Atobe!

11) Any Secrets?
Sengoku: *dramatic sigh* I'm a man trapped in a woman's body.
Atobe: Could you perhaps try and answer these seriously?
Sengoku: Maybe. ^_~
Shishido: *mutters* Where's my fucking gun...
Dabide: *bored* I don't have any anymore...is that a bad thing?

12) Love Anyone?
Sengoku: All my lovers and friends. ^_^
Dabide: My family. <33 Bane and Tsu-kun and Ryou-kun and Yuuji-kun...
Atobe: I suppose if I had to choose I would say Tezuka and Gakuto of course...
Shishido: *caught trying to sneak out of the room*
Akutsu: Lost? *shoves him back in*
Shishido: *glares* I hate you so much...
Akutsu: I care. *blows smoke in his face*
Sengoku: Shishi-chan loves Niou! ^_^
Shishido: SHUT UP!

13) TACOS?
Shishido: *wrinkles nose* Ew. Gag me.
Akutsu: Best idea you've had all day.
Sengoku: I've got the duct tape! ^_^
Shishido: 0.0! Get that shit away fro--mmph!
Atobe: *sighs* So much better...
Dabide: ...TACOS!

14) Ever slept in All day?
All: Yes!
Shishido: *muffled and shaking his head*

15)Favourite Show?
Dabide: The Iron Chef!
Sengoku: No TV for me, thanks.
Akutsu: Only the ditz watches that shit.
Dabide: ...Me?
All: Yes.

16)Favourite Movie?
Sengoku: Pirates!
Akutsu: ...Anything with martial arts. *shrug, smokes*
Atobe: Foreign films.
Dabide: Don't watch movies. *pats Shishido's head* No eating your gag, Shishi-kun.
Shishido: *glare of death*

17)Favourite Band?
Akutsu: Nickleback.
Sengoku: Anything I can dance to! ^_^
Dabide: Pussycat Dolls and Nightwish.
Atobe: Eclectic. And Shishido here listens to loud, annoying metal music.
Shishido: *very muffled fuck you to Atobe*

18)Eye Colours?
Sengoku: Blue, but sometimes she makes my eyes green. ^_~
Dabide: Brown.
Akutsu: Yellow, gold, whatever. *shrugs*
Atobe: Pale blue. Shishido's are brown. This question is irrelevant anyhow. Any one of us could purchase colored contacts.
Sengoku: Yeah, but only you would do it to match your shirt or something.
Atobe: *dirty look*

19)Skin?
Sengoku: We have it, yes. ^_^
Dabide: I don't think that's what it meant...
Sengoku: Sure it did. ^_^ Next question!

20)Fat/Average/Slim?
Atobe: What a stupid question...
Akutsu: Feelin' a little heavy?
Dabide: *snickers*
Atobe: I am not fat!
Sengoku: *pokes his side* I dunno...feels a little squishy to me...
Atobe: *storms off*
Dabide: ...Oops?

21)Rain, sunshine?
Sengoku: Is Atobe coming back for this?
Dabide: You're the one that insulted him.
Akutsu: Go drag his ass back here, Lucky. Wanna get this shit over with.
Sengoku: I'm on it. *salutes him and dashes off*
Dabide: ...I like sunshine?

22)Pool, Beach?
Akutsu: Pool.
Dabide: Beach.
Akutsu: ...
Dabide: ...
Shishido: *freed himself* Great. That's where I'll bury both of you fuckers...*advances*
Sengoku: *runs over Shishido with Atobe in tow* We're back! ^_^ Is it my turn? Oh, I like both!
Atobe: *rubbing the bridge of his nose* I have both. Now let go of me.

23)Camping, staying home?
Atobe: Camping.
Sengoku: Planning on feeling up Tezuka's sleeping bag? *eyebrow waggles*
Atobe: Shishido, would you kindly find your gun and shoot him?
Akutsu: *knocks Sengoku over with a fist to the head*
Dabide: Wow...Your fist is harder than Bane's foot...
Shishido: I'm still getting my gun...

24)Dog, Cat?
Atobe and Sengoku: Dog.
Shishido: ...
Dabide: ...
Akutsu: Who needs a fucking pet?
Shishido: *shrugs* 'Nuff said.

25)Believe in aliens?
All: *looking at Dabide:
Dabide: *blinks* ...What? I don't believe in aliens!
Atobe: Well, it's only logical we'd ask the space cadet...

26)Natural Born, or Clone?
All: Natural!

27)Car or Ship..?
All: *look at Atobe*
Atobe: *crosses his arms* I already told you. I am not buying you all cars.
Shishido: ...Cheap asshole.
All: *nod in agreement*

29)Any Unusual Things about you?
Sengoku: Shishi's a spy. ^_^
Shishido: And you're a dead fucker for breaking my cover! *chases after with his gun*
Dabide: I like BDSM?
Akutsu: You too, huh?
Atobe: *getting a migraine* Is this infernal interview over yet?

30)How much food/drink do you need a day?
Akutsu: ...
Atobe: I say this one doesn't need to be answered.
Dabide: Yeah, its pretty obvious...
Sengoku: *dazed from blood loss* ...Fooood?
Shishido: Shut up or I'll shoot your ass again.

31)Favourite Place?
Akutsu: The bar and the garage.
Atobe: The bar and my apartment.
Dabide: The bar and Tsu-kun's apartment and my home with Bane and Yuuji.
Shishido: The bar and my place with Niou.
Akutsu: ...Shit, we all drink?
Shishido: Looks like it. Weird, huh?
Atobe: Extremely.
Sengoku: ...Fooood?
Dabide: *waves a hand at Shishido* Can we shoot him again? *points to Sengoku*
Shishido: Sounds like a plan.
Atobe: Hurry up, then. I'll buy the first round at the bar. *leaves*
Akutsu: ...*follows*
Shishido: *grins* Kiss your ass goodbye, Sengoku.
Sengoku: ...Fooood?
Shishido: *shoots him in the ass, slings an arm around Dabide's shoulders* Let's go soak Atobe for two rounds, huh?
Dabide: Free booze! ^_^ Let's go!

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Tue, 15 May 2007 23:27:24 GMT

Crisis narrowly averted.

Thank God. Or whatever deity was involved.

So once Dad came home, he yelled at Mom for making me go back over to help with the BS going on at my grandparents. He's about ready to write them off considering we've been visiting and checking on them and doing just about everything for them for over six months now. It's getting old. And my car's beginning to fall apart and he'd like to fix it. And I have work and a bazillion things to do. So they argued and right then Grandpa called and says he's feeling a lot better. He's not going to Fargo so tomorrow I'm off the hook.

I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders. However, this doesn't mean that in two more days or so he could change his mind or his leg could get worse. So as usual its a waiting game. *shrug* But I have tomorrow to relax! *so relieved*

Sorry for the last update, I was upset. This is too much garbage to deal with, really. I'm just glad we might finally be getting to the end here.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Tue, 15 May 2007 19:13:44 GMT

Okay, I'm pretty calm now after talking to Angel and Trace.

Man...barely four days and I once again am embroiled in insanity.

So...here's the thing. I have to go back to my grandparents tomorrow. Don't know when, its only supposed to be for overnight. But knowing how shit goes when my mom decides these things, I really have no idea if I will be back. My grandfather, in his infinite stupidiy, fussed with a door on Sunday that he wasn't supposed to and dropped it on his leg. His bad leg that almost got cut off three times. I guess theres a big chuck of meat gone and it turned black. Hes going to the doctor in Fargo tomorrow to get it checked. But if they put him in the hospital, which is pretty damn likely, I have no idea when I'll be back.

As usual, I was volunteered for this without my knowledge or consent. This led to another fight and now I'm just tired of it all. So, anyone I promised to talk to tomorrow...well when shit rains, it pours. Literally.

Frankly, I love my grandparents dearly. But right now I'm hoping they just take my grandfather's leg off and put them both into assisted living so this ridiculous asinine bullshit will end for awhile. That or God, please let me be run over in the parking lot at work so its just over. I sound like a selfish little bitch but its better than having a mini-breakdown and trying to put my foot through the wall.

So with any luck I'll see everybody on Thursday. If I'm unlucky...I have no idea but I'll keep Angel posted as best I can.

Love you all.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sat, 12 May 2007 13:45:12 GMT

Hello all! Quickie note before I buzz off to work.

I am home!

Fellow rpers: Coming off hiatus tomorrow.

That is all for now. Ciao!

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 19:40:37 GMT

Hello all, just a quick update here before I need to run to work.

Yes, I'm still at my grandparents. Yes, I'll still be there for another week and a half at least. Yes, I'm still on hiatus for my fellow rpers.

And yes, this SUCKS.

I'm just here to grab a few things (read all my books, watched all my anime etc...), pet the kitties and check up on what I can while I'm here. I don't work til 4 but dad'll be home after 3...and hell no I'm not sticking around to be lectured about my bills again.

So...Grandma's wrists are looking better. Not 100% but they'll probably never get that way again. She goes in for an appointment and xrays on the 3rd. After that the doc and her therapist will be discussing if they think she'll be able to be on her own, since she was only supposed to have help for 2-3 weeks.

Mom's on my ass to totally reinvent their lives at the mobile home. Make things more accessible and go through all their boxes from the move etc. etc. We'll see what I feel like doing since they've been getting on fairly well with things just the way they are.

And yes. Boredom. Tons of it. On the plus side...I've gotten so desperate I've started to write longhand again. Not a lot but way more than I figured I'd be able to do. I've also caught up on my anime. UPS, Hikaru no Go, Princess Princess, Sukisyo, Prince of Tennis, etc. Now I'm taking back Wolf's Rain, Honey and Clover, Xenosaga and whatever else I just threw in the bag. lol I wont have anything to watch when I come back home!

On the bad side...there is literally nothing to do but loiter in my room watching TV or doodling on paper. My Grandmother can't be left alone in the house when Grandpa isnt there and when he is there I'm usually at his beck and call for things. My phone calls have to be limited to when he's at dialysis too, tues, thurs and sat mornings. Whoever I've promised to call, I'm going to try for those times, if you're awake or there.

And, to top it all off, whenever I see my parents or my brother, they have to attack me about money and things I've done wrong. I can never just have a nice visit with them. It always degrades into shitty comments about my bills (yes they still open my mail) or the state of my room (was in the middle of organzing when I left) or the fact that I haven't gotten a lot of work hours since Easter. (no one has...there's a war going on at work for work hours since they cut way back)

In short. I'm tired. Very tired. And bored. And lonely.

Angel, I'm going to try calling you in the morning.

Ai, I dled and printed the first four chapters of the Go fic. I see Isumi's name a lot ^_^. (rawr) I'll read what I can...this may be incredibly slow going but I'll give it my best shot.

Crys, sorry I missed your bday, hon! Lots of snuggles and love to you. Miss you!

Shu, Gottis...At least give me one day before attacking me about the new rp, yes? ^_^

Neko-babe, hope you liked your stuff. ^_^ Long live Eiji.

Regis, you're welcome. Interesting plot bunny for an Onizuka/Ryuji drabble, pre-GTO. *eyebrow waggle*

Cricket, LOVE YOU!

Everyone else...I'm out of time. Dammit. But everyone take care and I love you and I'm dying to be back home. *hugs computer moniter and is zapped*

See everyone in two weeks hopefully!

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 19:56:18 GMT

Well, tomorrows the day.

lol Most of you who RP with me already know this, but I'll be gone for three weeks now. No computer, or internet or anything. *weeps already*

If anyone needs to contact me for anything, I'll be trying to stay in contact with moonsliver. If I owe anyone fics or anything...pounce me when I get back?

I didn't forget yours either, scribs, I'll be working on it longhand from my grandmother's house. Which means I love you because I detest longhand lol.

Love to all of my flist...and see you in three weeks!

~Dare

Congratulations Lethy! ^_^

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 04:01:39 GMT

Word count: 779
Pairing: Oshitari Kenya/Ibu Shinji
Summary: Shinji surprises Kenya with a compromise.

A dull clinking sound filled the humid air, and Shinji sat cross-legged on a stool, watching quietly.

“Yer not nagging or pouting for once”, Kenya grunted from where he lay on the floor, not far and on his stomach. The old man seated next to him paused to wipe Kenya’s skin with a towel spotted with bits of blood and color. The blonde didn’t so much bat an eyelash when the tattooing started again, the old man rapidly and efficiently filling in white color into the tips of the scales that made up the coiled blue water dragon Kenya had requested this time. He’d chosen the base of his spine, where Shinji liked to clutch his hands whenever Kenya had his blue-haired lover beneath him.

Yuushi was going to get a fist in the face if he started smirking over how romantic his choice was this time. He would’ve gotten the satisfaction last time, but Shinji seemed to like his cousin, for reasons Kenya couldn’t fathom, and had given him that…pout.

Fuck it. There was always next time.

In response to his comment, Shinji just shrugged, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as he watched, crossing his arms over one knee and resting his chin on them.

Kenya’s brow furrowed a bit. “This is usually when ya start bitching about wanting a tat, ya know”, he reminded his boyfriend.

“You always tell me no”, Shinji replied with another shrug.

“’Cause you don’t need one.” Kenya snorted, remembering to keep himself still. Shinji’s body was an unpainted canvas…one he enjoyed making his own invisible marks on. He didn’t want anything—or anyone--touching it but him. After a moment, he cocked his head a bit to look at the other again. “That mean you’re giving up?”

“Not really.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means not really. I’m sorta giving up, but not what you’re thinking, because you’d never guess in a million years. But that’s okay because I like it when you can’t guess right away, it takes all the fun out of it. So I said not really because that’s what I meant…wow, the white kind of makes the scales look shimmery…”

Shinji was sitting just close enough for Kenya to reach out and touch. So he did, with full access to Shinji’s legs and shoes. A tug, and the other’s shoelace on one foot was undone. Shinji frowned down at him. “Hey…what are you doing?”

“Nothing”, Kenya replied, calmly yanking the shoelace out of each eyelet, being careful not to move too much with the sharp punching still going into his flesh. Shinji squirmed, and tried to bat his hand away. “I like these shoes, Kenya”, he pouted.

“No shit.” Smacking Shinji’s hands away, he ripped the shoelace the rest of the way out, making it cake to just slide the other’s shoe off of his foot. Without pausing, his fingers slid up the socked foot, teasing the skin just under the hem of Shinji’s jeans. The dark eyes staring down at him widened slightly. “Kenya…not fair”, Shinji breathed. He didn’t move away, just squirmed a little more at the touches along his calf.

“Not fair that you try and keep shit from me either”, Kenya countered, scratching his fingernails down Shinji’s ankle.

“I’m…sorry?”

“So tell me. I can keep this shit up all night, babe. This tat won’t be done for awhile.”

Shinji held out for a while, tossing down pouts and mumbling remarks about how mean and unfair and sexy Kenya was, even as he lowered his leg eventually for more touching. Once Kenya started stroking the arch of his foot, he sighed and caved.

“It was supposed to be a surprise. Mean Kenya…” Shinji’s pout melted into a little gamine smirk. “I can’t get a tattoo. And you can’t get another one either. Not after this one.” He looked…triumphant, and Kenya snorted a laugh. “You kidding me? You like tats on me, babe. You’ll just be punishing yourself.”

“No more tats unless I get to make them.”

“Yeah right, like you’ll be able to—wait, what??” Kenya did a mental double take.

Oh yeah, Shinji was grinning now. “I get to make all your tattoos now. I’m apprenticing.”

Kenya was…well, floored. “…Who the fuck would teach you?”

He stiffened at the polite cough on the other side of him. Carefully, he turned his head to meet the tattoo master’s eyes. “…Is this ‘cause I flirted with your wife that one time, Matsushita-san?”

He winced at the nod. And was up and out the door the moment the master put the hammer and punch into Shinji’s eager hands.

“Kenya! Wait, I’ve been practicing!”

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 18:59:40 GMT

To everyone that commented on my last update...thanks. Really, it helped. I was having a sort of pity-party day. Snuggles to you all!

Mom dropped a bombshell last night. My grandmother is being released from the nursing home on Tuesday, rather than another two weeks. And what she tells me is, they'll only release her if there's someone at home to take care of her for 2-3 weeks, or if she comes here and stays with us.

And she can't stay here because she's allergic to the cats. So, Mom says, who's the only one that can go out there to the mobile home and stay with Grandma for 2-3 weeks?

If you needed more than one guess, I'm disappointed. She didn't even ask, of course, just told me that I can stay there blah blah. She even asked if I could get a week off of work. I told her hell no. As much as I love my grandparents, I really don't want to live with them again. Those two are walking hypochondriac headaches by themselves...put them together and eesh.

I'm not looking forward to this.

So, for anyone I'm RPing with, I'll be taking a 2-3 week hiatus. Since Im not sure how often I can sneak back home and check my email, etc. So, if anyone needs to go over plots, logs, etc, better try to contact me by Monday, okay?

Now I'm off to get something to eat so I can go to work. Hurrah. >.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 02:54:21 GMT

Sometimes I am so very tired of things that I do never being good enough. It makes me so sick of trying, or caring.

When did I become so apathetic?

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 04:55:03 GMT

Technically, its still the 15th...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ridley_geek !!

Everyone go say hi to my lil' bro who finally got a journal! ^_^

drabble drabble

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 16:31:34 GMT

"All right! Which one of you hogged down the chocolate chips!", Shishido scowled, waving the near empty bag of chocolate in the air in front of her girlfriends before slamming it down onto the counter. "It's bad enough I got roped into this baking crap in the first place, and now one of you eats the main ingredient? Who was it!"

Oshitari's eyes immediately darted to Atobe, narrowing suspiciously before turning back to Shishido with a smirk. "We'll both deny it, I'm sure", she drawled. "Of course I'll deny it", Atobe tossed her hair with an unconcerned air. "Why would I eat them?"

"There's an easy way to tell", Oshitari added, jumping in before Shishido gave into her temper even more. "You'll have to kiss each of us to see which one of us tastes like chocolate." Atobe frowned and immediately backed up. "What a stupid idea, Yuuri. That's not going to prove anyth--"

Shishido apparently thought differently, stalking her former buchou and pinning her against the refridgerator door, kissing her deeply and thoroughly. Just as Keiko was melting against her, the brunette pulled back with a glare. "You did eat them!", she accused.

"...Maybe I ate some too. But perhaps you'd like to check first?", Yuuri asked hopefully, with a little chuckle.

"This isn't gonna work", Kamio panted as Akutsu twisted his leg up into another angle. His boyfriend grunted and shifted behind him, smoke-smelling breath in his ear. "Your idea. Quit bitching."

"I only said no one could do that, even in a porn--ow! Hurts!" The redhead squirmed and slapped at the taller teen in irritation. Akutsu leaned down and bit his neck for it, getting a startled yelp from Kamio that was quickly changed into a moan. A few more minutes of fumbling and rearranging had them both rolling off of the bed in a heap of limbs and cursing.

"We'd definitely fail at being porn stars", was Kamio's muffled comment. Akutsu responded in his typical wordless way, and simply screwed his boyfriend into the floor.

Oshitari couldn't stop yawning.

"Yuushi...that is not sexy when we're paying all this attention to you", Atobe frowned, looking up from where he was rubbing the tip of the man's erection against his lips. Tezuka only nodded, reaching down to wrap a hand around the one slowing down on his. Yuushi seemed to be nodding off during sex. How on earth was that possible?

"Mmhmm", the sleepy man yawned again, eyes cracked just the tiniest bit. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate finally being the one attacked by his two lovers. But the timing was horrible. He'd been up since the early hours that morning, and his body wasn't listening to his mind entreating him to stay awake.

He jerked a bit when Atobe bit his hip reproachfully, and yawned again. After a moment, it echoed as Tezuka yawned as well. Yuushi managed to smile slightly at him, releasing his hold around Tezuka's semi-erection and offering his arms.

Atobe glared at them both, curled up in each other's arms, eyes shut. There was no point in continuing, he thought, disgusted with the thought of his plans for the night ruined. Before he could say anything, however, both Yuushi and Kunimitsu yawned in unison.

It was contagious, and made Atobe yawn as well. He would have to punish them both for this later. For now, anyways, he'd just have to nap with them, and sprawled on the other side of Tezuka, wrapping an arm around them both.

The sales lady was getting a little impatient. "Miss, your friend simply can't be that size. Are you sure this isn't it?"

Sakurai tilted her head at the garment being shaken slightly in front of her face. "Nope. Needs to be bigger." She frowned when the woman came back with one only one size larger. "You're not getting it!", she fussed, grabbing the plastic hanger from the woman's hand and tossing it over onto a nearby underwear table. "Arai-chan's BIG. HUGE. Not like this", she said reaching out and squeezing the shocked woman's breasts. "She's like this", the girl proclaimed, widening her fingers to cover a grossly proportioned mannequin in the plus sizes department.

Well, so much for getting her girlfriend lingerie for Valentine's Day, Sakurai pouted after being escorted out of the store.

darejjtiger@hotmail.com — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 20:49:32 GMT

Family crisis.

Just a quick update about what's going on right now. Yesterday my grandmother fell down the steps of their new mobile home thanks to the damn ice and my grandfather bitching at her to go with him to buy a medicene cabinet he didn't need.

So.

Both of her wrists were fractured, one actually shattered in several places. They've been pinned and bolted in place and will be in traction for 6 weeks. She broke a rib and fractured another. Her forehead is all scraped up. In a few days they'll put her up in a nursing home for convalescence.

Thanks to this, mom has taken off work til Friday. And Im working everyday until Sunday. So, my time online will be sporadic at best, if any. I'll be checking in when I can, so any RP stuff can be emailed/posted/gmailed to me in the interim. I won't be updating anything until this weekend, if I can.

Angel, Blue, and Regis, I'll try giving you a call this week when I can unearth the phone card I just bought.

Everyone else I'll hopefully see by this weekend.

Off to work now. See ya.